List of my daily oddities living aboard a ship:

1. “Washy Washy” – this is a phrase the anti-bacterial spray bottle host greets you with at the entrance of every room on the ship. Sometimes they get more creative ans say,”Washy, washy. Happy,happy. Smiley, Smiley.” It used to be charming.
2. bum legs – maybe because the clientele on this route is people who may have fought in the military or held a farm/ factory job, or maybe because it’s hard for folks with disabilities to travel and cruising is easy, but I have yet to not come across a limper or a fake-leg every week since we have been here.
3. Chemical smells on rough sea days (particularly the past few weeks – the February winds have made for bumpy rides and seasick passengers. There are crews of housekeeping staff dressed in white coverall suits and face masks (ala E.T.) who sanitize and eliminate the “spills” with strong chemicals that can destroy anything... except carpets, apparently.
4. Twice I have seen denture cream left in a public area. This is still weird to me.
5. Black Eyed Peas “I got a Feeling” is the underscore of my existence. It plays in every deck, club, restaurant, and shop both on and off the ship. Whyyyy?
6. Rumors of prostitution rings and drug cartel on our ship! I choose to not believe this.
7. Obesity exists everywhere but Los Angeles.
8. People still un-ironically wear cowboy hats.
9. Bad karaoke singing, drunken sweaty dancing, and obscene over-eating are a privilege you have earned on vacation.
10. Exercising 5 hours a week doesn’t make you thinner, it just makes you hungrier.