The Ports

St Maarten: The locals call it “Sint Maaaaah-Dane”. This Caribbean island is the smallest in the world to be owned by two different countries. There is a Dutch side and a French side. We took a water taxi to the Dutch part of the island. Endless t-shirt shops, expensive bars, and cheap pharmaceuticals were abundant. I got six months of birth control pills at a local drugstore for the same price I pay for one month at Rite-Aid. I also got 22 mosquito bites on my right calf. (I didn’t bother counting on the left).

I did find a treasure amidst the sweaty and the sunburned... the Church of St Maarten. It was a peaceful little Catholic Church on a popular bar-crawl strip. The holy statues were brightly painted, Dutch inspired figurines, and the church was charming and simple.

Nassau: What can one say about the Bahamas? Steamy? Loud? Annoying? Local crafts-people shout at you to buy their straw baskets, barely clad woman nursing babies on their teats haunt you to get your hair-braided, and stinky old men berate you if you don’t accept a personal tour of the island in their 1983 Honda.

There were 4 other cruise ships that shared the port with us. Over 12,000 tourists and passengers clogged up the narrow streets of the small island. The temperature was in the humid and high 100’s. And there were 3 different marching bands constipating any exit into the shopping area. It was all more than overwhelming. So instead of going to a casino, aquarium, water-park, or shopping, I came up with an alternate plan... I will head to a Starbucks. The thought of yummy coffee, air-conditioning, and free wi-fi were comforts calling my name. But after I waited in line for 20 minutes for a coffee, paid $3 for wireless that didn’t work, and suffered an indoor temperature that even Bikram Yogi’s would reject, I rushed back to the ship! Some days you just can’t win.

St Thomas: This is a US Virgin Island, which means one thing... no roaming charges! It was such a luxury to use my cell phone on the beach. Like most tropical destinations, one minute the sky was clear blue and the next there were torrential downpours. Once the storms passed, we went to what I will describe as the most perfect beach I have ever laid eyes and feet upon! It was called Morning Star Beach and it was a paradise. Lazy iguanas greet you at the grassy entrance. Colorful buildings and quiet little shops line the lush forest landscape behind you. And soft-sand-bottom, warm ocean water spread out before you. It was a sanctuary.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, that just about does it. It is time to retire this blog. I head back to LA this weekend. This is my last entry (sob, blubber, weep). Thanks for reading. This has been fun way of connecting with all of you, a creative route to processing this circus-like existence that I have led, and a means of journaling my post-nuptial adventure. I feel thankful to have traveled/ worked with my new husband. I feel proud of the great performances I have shared with thousands. And I feel particularly grateful for the small conveniences that lay ahead. I’m really looking forward to life on land. Have a great summer, friends. Good-bye for now. New adventures for us all...